The Secrets to a Sane Mommy, Part 2

So, in part 1 of the series on being a sane and healthy mom, we talked about the importance of a schedule. This time around, we're going to talk about how vital it is to reach out and get help.

I've struggled so incredibly hard with this concept. I am the type of person who thinks she should be able to do it all, perfectly, by myself. I've always been a strong-headed and independent person so the thought of reaching out for help with my daughter and my life seemed like it would make me look and feel weak. What I found was exactly the opposite.

When Little A was pretty young, I found that I craved interaction with other moms to commiserate with and just talk to. Not being from the area where we now live, it was challenging to find other moms. What I found helped was meetup.com. I joined a baby/toddler playgroup and went to many of their meetups. There were moms I automatically felt comfortable with and ones that I definitely didn't jive well with. It was a hit and miss process but eventually I found a couple close friends.

That close little group has been such a blessing for me. One of the other moms and I do a kiddo care swap- she takes Little A on Tuesday afternoons and I take her little one on Thursday afternoons. The time I get from that seems like such a luxury and I will often go to a coffee shop by myself to just sit and work or read a book. It helps me decompress and level out from a long week of going and doing with Little A.

The next step I took to get help was actually instigated by my husband. Little A is going through a phase of development in which she is very stubbornly independent, overwhelmed with her inability to communicate, and needing some peer socialization. The combination of all that has had this mama very stressed and increasingly negative. One night my husband said, "Maybe it's just time to get her into daycare."

This was difficult for me. Firstly, I don't like the idea of stranger being around my child while I'm not there and, secondly, I was struggling with mama-guilt- what was expected of me if I didn't have my child at home? It took a while but eventually I came to see that 10 hours a week in daycare would be great for Little A and for her overly-taxed mama. We found a great home daycare that Little A will be attending twice a week for a half day.

So far I've found these steps that I've taken to be so vital to my mental health and physical well-being. I find that if I don't take the time and space I need for me, that I can get very negative and less patient with Little A. I also find that I don't have as much energy to clean and keep my home or to be a good and present partner to my wonderful husband. By being compassionate with myself by allowing myself to need that time and make sure that it happens, I can be more compassionate loving with my family.

This has been my experience. Obviously, every mommy's experience will be different in the specifics but the basic idea of reaching out within your community, family and even childcare professionals is incredibly important for your sanity and energy levels.


Keep your eyes peeled for Part 3 in our series on The Secrets to a Sane Mommy.